dreadful.

i managed to survive this long, but how far more can i take it?
wondering.
have been pretty busy the past 2 days. from practical tests to physio test to completing IPC tutorials. and i survived it all.
talking about physio, should be alright..............i guess.
but anyway...what i want to say is that i am feeling damn tired.
i think even 10 hours of sleep can't restore my energy back. well, if i am tired...i can go rest and sleep. but the problem is...i can't!!!
why?
because there is still MOL for me to complete. and completing this stupid online math shit is so dreadful. i know it is useful...but collecting all the shit stars is just dumb. 5 yellow stars and 3 red stars for every topic/part. the worst part is collecting the red stars...the REVISION. and this stupid REVISION can be done...only when wong yet ling activates it. and she doesn't activate it the whole day...only for 2 freaking hours.
and the deadline to complete this whole online crap is this friday. and i have not finished them all yet.
i've got no choice but to go back to school tomorrow just to complete all the revision.
i am so tired man. i hope this semester ends really soon...the modules are draining my energy, killing me slowly. i need a break. a long one indeed.

i need my coffee.

YAWN!!!
gosh, damn tired. got physio to study...tomorrow's test, hope i can make it.
oh well, before i stick my face onto my physio lecture notes, shall just blog bout today.
went to school for IPC practical exam. overall...DEAD. hope i can at least pass...hope my practical teacher is kind to make me pass. i know he is nice. so...hoping for the best.
ohoh...next was microbio practical test...overall...GOOD. stupid station 1...i hate it the most. haha.
went bukit timah with serene, eileen and suhua to makan "guo tie" and "xiaolong bao"...nice nice. i like the juice the xiaolong bao produce. LOL.
after eating, went to BPP...walk walk...look look...see see. mainly specs.
then headed home.
and now i feel damn tired.
i wonder how much i can remember for the test...arhhhhh!
ok, to the notes now.

argh!

oh crap. there is so much to do...yet so little time. arhhh!!! i hate this.
this coming week would be a really busy week. cause there are tests!!! IPC practical test, microbio practical test...both on the same day, MONDAY...plus the monday blues...i wonder how am i gonna overcome this dumb day. and there is physio test too...on tuesday, the day after MONDAY...loads to study la. 9 freaking chapters!!! gosh...that would definitely make my monday really really BLUE.
so you think the stress would be gone so quickly...haha...fat hope.
cause...exams are coming SOON. omggggggggggg.
there is math to practise. little microbes to study. loads of IPC to calculate and understand. and also...loads of systems in our body to memorise.
oh man...there is still some time for me to quickly catch up...but still not enough.
everything in this world is not enough...whywhywhy???
oh well...all i can do now is stop complaining so much and study. yes. STUDY JoeL! STUDY!!! i need a burst of energy...i need self motivation...i need my coffee. hehe.
just a couple of weeks left. so near yet so far. holidays...here i come...but before that...exams first.
sad life i have. T___T

byebye CATS.

hooray! finally...no more lessons for CATS. dumbest module i have ever taken...worse than IAC which i took last semester. and today's lesson was so dumb la. we had to build a tower made up of straws, satay sticks and masking tape. fun la...but still dumb. haha. just build tower...measure see which group tallest then go home liao.
not only no more CATS...no more sabrina also. ok...though sabrina is better than diana chee who thought my class IAC last semester, but...it seems like she prefers BA students to LSCT students. like wth...BA students are 'Baldy Asses' la.
but anyway, all i want to say is that...
IS modules suck...except for S&W.
so sad la...no more S&W...no more hip hop. make my friday so short. the reason that makes me so eager to go to school on fridays this semester is because of hip hop. cause it is fun. how i wish every semester will have S&W hip hop...and no stupid IS modules like CATS and IAC and so on.
but life goes on.
zzz.

Cheer元甲!!!

had GL training and kiap, our SGL...imparted his cheering skills to those GLs who were present. like kung-fu like that. only 26 of us...and we passed all 4 stages. overall i call it "Cheer元甲". haha...cool right?
so we cheered our lungs out...ok not exactly...but my voice kind of went abit 'ZZZ' after that. but it was fun.
the first stage...Solid Cheer.
the second stage...Superman Cheer.
the third stage...Peace by the River.
and the final stage...the Green Frog thingy la.
and training ended so fast la.
so alot of us went to KAP macs for dinner. had loads of fun...playing funny games...laughing so loud.
and time really pass so fast when ya having fun...soon, we all had to head home.
so now i am here...blogging my last bit of energy out for the day.
ok...i am out.

satisfying grades.

i feel so satisfied.
cause i passed my math CCT!!! was pretty stressed bout it cause the test itself costs 15% of the entire module. 75% for the test...what a relief.
and...i passed my math retest too!!! 65/100. arghh...why didn't i get this mark for my common test? too bad the marks are capped to 50.
i feel happy...but i can't stay like this for long...cause the final exams are coming. omg. screw integration...i rather do differentiation. have to work hard liao.
JoeL knows that he is not a total math idiot. until a certain extent only.
haha.

last day of open house.

today is the last day of NP's open house this year.
headed down to LSCT in the morning cause my shift was from 11am-3pm. and i tended the alpha-gel stall today...cause i wanted to learn how to make alpha-gel. and also i was kind of bored to do the food stall. made a few bottles of alpha-gel too. made one for my mum...hope she likes it.
making alpha-gel is funfunfun. but the whole thing for me is kind of confusing...cause there were loads of things to take note...like the extra charges if glitter is added, if another different colored gel is used...and also whether if the name exceeded 6 alphabets (extra charges for every alphabet if more than 6.)
the food stall was indeed easier to tend. cause the job is easy. steam HOTdog le...just sit and press button and wait for HOTdogs to cook.
my shift was supposed to end at 3pm...but i just stayed all the way till the end...and i don't know why too. LOL!
towards the end of the whole thing before the stalls had to close, the alpha-gel stall got super crowded and messy. like choatic. customers came to the stall and made huge orders...which means huge calculations and money to handle. omg la. and not to forget, coke spilled on table...accidents. messy table. the busiest time of the day man...but almost everyone came to help. and soon...it was all over. like what a relief. phew.
everyone had fun indeed. and now...i am craving for steamed HOTdogs!!! very addictive. haha.
ok i am tired. this whole day of alpha-gel thing has drained me.

last dance.

what a great day!!!
firstly, i had loads of hours of sleep.
secondly, i skipped CATS. my whole group did.
finally, had S&W Hip Hop!!!
today was the last lesson for hip hop. the last but the longest. and the most fun too. cause we had our group performance that we had practised for so many weeks. the whole lesson was mainly learning abit more and also practising. and the last part of the lesson...the real show. haha. for my group, we all wore dark blue tops and black bottoms...and we brought along unwanted white t shirts too. well the white tops were torn and cut and worn...so as to make our outfits look more outstanding. so all the groups had to dance 2 times...1st one without the torn clothes...2nd one with the torn clothes. i kind of screwed up the 2nd time...cause of the distracting torn t shirt of mine...the sleeve kept falling off. rawr! haha. but i had fun while dancing!!!
my group was the most improved group!!! YAY!!!
after S&W...a whole group of us wore our outfits all the way back to LSCT. so proud of our outifts!!! haha. and we cam-whored!!!
well...i'll just fast forward from here.
serene, eileen, suhua, lijun, rees, lifang, jieying and me went orchard for dinner. after eating...walked around some shops...and whenever we see mirrors...we get damn high cause of the 'woh-woh-woh' part of 波间带-林俊杰. cause NRA danced this song for open house at atrium and that part looks damn nice and cool. so we woh-woh-woh...and we tried doing that move. haha.
so after everything...went home.
so i will just end my post here.

LSCT peeps with Ann!!!

stupid ah giam!!!

open house.

i thought i could somehow get away from helping out in open house...but it seems like i can't. cause...in the end...i am still involved. but i don't mind.
basically...the GLs tended the stalls for open house at LSCT. it was fun...from decorating our blackboard with colorful markers, selling stuff, and having fun. the stalls sell stuff like cheese HOTdogs (steamed using jinjie's steamer...not toasted. more healthy this way. may look disgusting but really nice ok...addictive.), drinks, kachang puteh, malt candy, chips, and many more.
my shift was actually from 11am to 3pm...but i still continue to help all the way till bout 7pm, because needed to go out with beesim, serene, huixian to IMM. xl tagged along.
long time never go IMM...the place has changed. met ah giam at her workplace...sell ice-cream...got loads of flavours...looks very delicious. so...we went to shop for both beesim's and my long pants...cause of S&W. beesim found her nice black bottom. but for me...don't have black. so in the end no choice got to find the closest color to black. but i like it still...haha.
had dinner at Long John Silvers...chatted loads...eat and talk...talk and eat...so much fun talking. but the fun really ended very fast. rawr!
went home after everything.

now for some random stuffs:
JoeL needs to stop eating fastfood.
He doesn't need to tend the stall for open house tomorrow.
He is addicted to coke.
JoeL can sleep really late and wake up really late. only for 1 night.
He needs to buy more NICE T-SHIRTS from Giordano.
He wants to get some nice shoes from that store too.
JoeL is listening to songs sung by jay chou. and he loves the songs.
JoeL is tired and he wants to rest.
BYE.

finally.

i finally passed my math quiz 3. 28/50. not bad not bad...pretty pleased with myself.
also had math retest today. hope i pass...though even if i did very well...my marks would still be capped at 50%. but still...i hope i pass.
huixian gave me a banana. haha. a big, long, fat and yellow banana. ok it sounds wrong. but anyway...happy birthday huixian aka banehneh!!!
ok it seems like most people would think i am sad and emo when i suddenly go quiet. but it is not true...
there are many reasons why i can suddenly go quiet...but the answer is definely not because i am sad. i just wanna be...quiet. that's all. so...if you suddenly see me quiet...please do not come and comfort me as if i were depressed. just let me be.
*ok...for the benefit for all those who may think i am emo-ing now...I am NOT!*

behind time.

i just realised that i am not following according to what i have planned. and this has made me behind time. again.
now i am filled with work once again...and i have to clear them again. how nice.
i seriously need to stick to my plan if i wanna pass this semester without having to repeat a module or 2.
i need discipline...i need the drive to study...i need to start...and finally, i need time.

a day at the beach.

it's sunday already...but who cares...i wanna blog bout saturday.
i was supposed to wake up at 8am to go harborfront interchange to meet some of my GLs for breakfast...cause we were all supposed to have a GL outing together with the SGLs and meet at the interchange at 11am. and so...i woke up at 9am. lazy me. so i quickly got ready and headed for harborfront. ah giam went sentosa also...what a coincidence...haha.
fast forward...
and soon...we found ourselves at siloso beach. really thankful that the weather was fine...not rainy and also not too sunny (if not the sand would be burning hot). we all played ball games like beach volleyball, soccer and captains' ball, frisbee and throwing each other into the sea at the same time getting wet. played with sand...making sandman (not snowman)...sand dung...digging holes ( i dug a very deep hole with my own bare hands), burying people with sand...basically just chilling out at the beach.
the day past real fast...soon the sun started to set and the sky slowly turned dark. washed up...headed to vivo city with my fellow GLs for dinner. first time go vivo...BIG i must say...i kinda got blur and lost at the same time. had long john silvers for dinner, and went to this open corner to eat cause the fastfood restaurant itself was packed with people. must really shop in vivo someday. haha. after everything, i headed home.
basically...what i was trying to say was that the day was fun.

useless.

i just feel useless. i can't get things done the way it should be done, and i screw things up. it is just saddening to see myself feeling all so useless and can't do anything right. it seems like i can't do something all by my own...and in the end...someone has to help me with it and it makes me feel bad.
till now...i don't see much strengths in me. all i see are weaknesses. even if i have some strengths, i can't seem to put them into good use. i just feel vulnerable.
i envy people...at the same time hating myself. i am no longer the person who once loved himself. those smiles he gave are no longer real.
i feel like an empty shell lying in a dark place, feeling helpless.
even i can't save myself.

no 2nd miracle.

i've learnt that there is no such thing as a 2nd miracle. miracles happen only once in a while.
i failed math common test. not sad bout it, cause i knew i would fail. just 10 more marks to hit 50. so no choice have to go for retest. have to work harder.
also had math quiz 3, think i can pass...but i scared cause i may have careless mistakes which i always make and this made me like fail the past 2 quizzes by 2 marks. keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for a pass.
got back physio paper too...not badly done. satisfied.
i just noticed that the exams are drawing near, in like bout 3 weeks i think. like...omg. can't time just slow down abit? i kinda hate it, but then again...i kinda like it. hate it cause...of the freaking exams. like it cause...it would be boring if time passes slowly always. contradicting but true.
alright...that's all.

a miracle.

wow!!! i must say a miracle happened today. not a very big one, but still...it is a miracle. i can't believe it...until now. someone slap, pinch or punch me and tell me this is not a dream.
i thought i would have failed my IPC practical test. but...i passed! and the pass is not bad...28/40. and to think i could have passed...when i did not finish the last few questions of the paper, not because not enough time...but i gave up cause i seriously didn't know how to do. a miracle indeed.
but then, the question is...,"will there be a 2nd miracle?"
hope i pass my math common test. but i know it is like impossible. if i pass my math common test...it will be a 2nd miracle. but i know i will fail and will have to take a damn retest.
and there is also math quiz tomorrow...omgoodness. hope i won't screw up the paper...and at least pass.
math is just not my forte.

nothing.

JoeL has nothing to blog bout today. Please come back another day. Thank you for your support and hope you come back again soon.

illusions cast away.

i am not gonna think of running away and quitting and giving things up half way. this is the road i chose...the road that i wanted to walk. i can't just have those illusions and thoughts to make me wanna give up just like that. it is just not fair to myself.
i promised myself to continue the journey...and that is what i am gonna do. if i can't keep a prmoise that is so easy to keep, how can i keep promises for other people.
i was disillusioned, and i can remember something like this that happened before last year. and i ran away...but i can't run away now...not at a time like this. i don't want to make the same old mistake this year...cause i realised i made a dumb move last year. i will miss 11th coy forever. but for now, i'll just have to finish the journey i started. i will not think of quitting GLs anymore.

back for a brand new 2007!

yes! 2007 is finally here and i am back from malaysia...feeling tired. feels so great to be back home.
4 days in malaysia can kill...seriously. 1 day in genting had almost killed me because of the cooling weather plus my bad nose!!! kept sneezing and sneezing, kept having mucus flowing out from my nose. and genting is no longer fun and interesting anymore...to me...cause if you want to go to the amusement park for rides...you should go with your friends or people around your age. by the way, i went with my mum and my aunts. so that explains why. but instead we did abit of shopping at first world hotel that area. and first world hotel sucks...small units...sucky service. oh well...nvm bout that. caught "The Curse Of The Golden Flower" at night...the movie was alright i must say, the story is kinda disappointing but the costumes were just beautiful. and the cinema is like thumbs down...the seats were not very clean...the sound system suck like hell. and i thought the movie is supposed to be in chinese...but it is in cantonese in malaysia. i don't understand cantonese la...i have to like read the subtitles to understand. if it is in chinese at least not so bad la.
went to KL the next day...the ride from genting down to KL was dreading...loads of turns man...almost made me bus-sick. did loads of shopping for the whole day at sungeiwang...met my sis and her friend there...cause they only wanted to go KL. sungeiwang there got countdown...freaking crowded, have to squeeze our way through.
the third day was getting abit boring...cause my elders wanted to shop at sungeiwang again...and i wonder why and how women got soooooo much energy to shop for HOURS...i stand and walk until my legs want to collapse and break, and they still got energy to shop more. OMG la!!! went chinatown at night...nothing much le.
i have to say something...MALAYSIAN TAXI DRIVERS ARE MONEY SUCKERS AND CHEATS!!! i mean they charge so much for just a short distance and when you tell them it is not worth it...they tell you say because it is late or got jam (which is totally a big LIE.)
and finally the last day(today)...go back singapore. feels so good la.
i kinda miss my friends, the life in singapore...it just feels weird in malaysia...well, partly because i don't live there.
overall, the trip was alright...i myself didn't buy loads of stuffs, just a few shirts. the BEST buy was a stripey green and white shirt i bought from Topman...very cheap and it looks nice. haaha.
alright enough of malaysia and shopping.
school is starting tomorrow, and i am dreading already. exams are coming...that's why. oh well, can't help it. hope i can catch up and cope.