an entry before another week of school.

i suddenly had this urge to blog. dont know why, but i just felt like blogging just before another week of school starts.
week 3 of school!! YAY? or BOO?
well, it's a mixture of both. it would seriously be a miracle if i said 100% YAY to schooling.
imagine me looking forward to all lessons, doing homework, meeting supervisors and of course getting scolded or nagged at.
that's never gonna happen. =)

i guess it's kinda obvious why BOO.
but why YAY?
that's because there's dance tomorrow!!
now that's something to really YAY about. it's been a while, but i hope i catch up.

anyway, i got cravings for oily food.
like those kind of deep fried food you can buy from old chang kee.
apparently, xl and me went to buy some oily food before going for post FOC bbq.
we were damn hungry lah. the journey from jurong east to pasir ris was like loooooooonnnnngggg. but we managed to crap alot, which makes the journey seem shorter and less torturing.
and i bought curry puffs and deep fried shrimp!! shiok lah!
xl and i were discussing that we should save alot of money, and buy like every oily food we can get from old chang kee. and eat everything together with rice, and perhaps a plate of vegetables to make our meal not so unhealthy.
bbq was alright, chicken wings were pretty nice. the best thing of the night was the endless laughing and crapping with SC and pamela.
and the worst thing that could happen that night, was to miss the last train...
so close to getting the last train. all we needed was just abit more time, but too bad.
ok, i dont want to go into detail. but now, my pockets are empty.
well, but at least it is better than taking NR back home, which is like 80 over stops to central and you got to change to another NR to get home. not to forget, the waiting time.

alright, guess i should end it here.
hope to have a good week! =)


sometimes, i just feel so damn invisible.

1 week ago.

time sure past fast.
it's been a week since Fantazia.
and yes, i am missing everything that i've experienced.
the times in studio, the prespiration, the fatigueness, the full rehearsals, the stage, the spotlights, the loud music, the feeling of performing in front of the audience, the relief after each performance ended, the phototaking sessions, the fun times with my friends, the laughters and everything.
no dance for the week and it feels damn boring.
now everyday come back home at about 6pm-7pm, feels abit weird.
ahhh! cant wait for post Fantazia PARTY!!

although there's no dance, but still, i am pretty happy with myself.
because i've been early for classes. it's been a long time since i came into class 10 mins earlier.
lessons so far are kinda alright, but year 3 IS modules are abit boring.
anyway, thanks hannah, linette and stella for letting me join in your group for assignment 1!!
apparently, i missed the first lesson for Customer Service Comminucation (CSC) last thursday which was at 8am because i woke up late. and there was an assignment needed to be done and presented the next week. and i only came to know about it the night before the presentation. but really got to thank hannah for letting me join the group last minute.

FYP is still like kinda stagnant.
waiting for our TSO to help expand our cell line.
but during that period of time, there's much to be done.
it's time to really sweat it out and do what as much as i can.
i really do feel that Yellow.Ass.Pig. thinks that i am not the hardworking one.
to me, i feel that he thinks i am not doing my part.
well, i dont think so lah. both denyse and i did do work.
maybe he thinks that way, because i am not the one that usually asks questions.
oh well, i've got to prove it to him.
hope everything goes fine. remember, have FAITH!!

FantaZia photos!!!

i didn't know that photobucket can edit photos.
i know, i am super sua ku. but yea, once i realised it, i itchy finger want to try edit one photo.
and now, it's up on as my blog skin picture.
not bad hur, for first-timer.
better say it's nice, or else...

anyway, here are the photos for Fantazia.
special thanks to beesim, xiubei, lao jess, kit kat, nianshun for the photos.

no picture with family. =(
too bad for them lah, so busy then cannot come to see me on stage.
dont worry, Danzation 2008 i will confirm make them support me no matter what.

here goes...

Ann!! the one that inspired me in dance.

Ryan! he is DOPE!

Daphne! she's really nice and her voice is really sweet! love her song "Tribute".

Yutaki!! from LSCT one leh!

wilbert's mum!

terence!! best male dancer leh!!

farid!!

finally, a picture that is horizontal! LAO JESS!!

vanessa!!

cash!! $$$

serene dragged me into the photo.

kaifeng!!

seng kiat!! he helped me with my hair on day 2, although after that i tried on my own and ruined it.

shawn!

jamie chan! 拜拜 jeh!

xiubei!!

melise!

sherlene!! the girl whose hair always get entangled, hahaha!!!

last but not least, photo with beesim!!

OK! i am done with posting photos!! actually there are still more pictures to post, but then it's damn ma fan to post, so many pictures lah!

and i miss Fantazia! =(

FantaZia!

Fantazia!!
it's finally over! i feel so happy right now.
it all went well, in fact, the whole show was fantastic!!

first of all, i would really like to thank everyone who came down to support.
really appreciate deep down in my heart.
a really BIG thank you to all of you!!
and thanks for the flowers and gift!
i feel like a star already. when i went home carrying the flowers in my hands, really feel like a damn DOPE person, because people would be looking at me and the flowers. =D
and also, thanks to those who encouraged me and gave me moral support through sms, msn or even through tagboard. those words really helped me alot!

i really enjoyed myself on stage for the past 2 days.
the feeling is so unexplainable.
totally cannot describe the feeling.
but it's a good type of feeling, it makes me happy and satisfied.
i dont know what happened to me, but when i was on stage, the only thing in my mind was to put up a good performance for the audience.
all i know is that i felt different on stage. different in a good way lah.

freshie item was great lah!! but i think i did better on the 2nd day.
but then on both days, i almost couldnt reach farah who is at the other side of the stage for partner work.
haha, sorry to those whom i clashed with while running during that 1 eight.
sophan's item was the bigger worry for me. because of one thing, i am right smack in front of the stage. then i am those kind of person with not much confidence one ma. but for both days, i was able to do it!! like just chiong and full out! and i managed to do it. =)
then kitkat also showed me the video taken on first day, was totally shocked. because i couldnt believe that the person in front was ME. i am not saying i am good, but the video really got FEEL. then i kept asking myself, "is that really me?"

thanks Ann for everything!! thanks for teaching us alot, sharing your passion for dance and also constantly nagging at us about our attitude and so on. and Ann is ultimate dope la, saw her dance duet with ryan. see the both of them dance to the song "我真的受伤了", can feel the song and everything.
thanks baowen for helping the freshies do cleaning of steps and guiding us!!
thanks sophan for teaching us locking!! thanks for really drilling us and making sure that we look neat when doing the choreo, and also thanks for constantly pointing out my mistakes. and also helping me build up my confidence.


anyway, now that Fantazia is over, it's back to FYP. more time to concentrate on it le.
damn! no more dance for like dont know how long. it's like no dance means no life.
i will definitely miss Fantazia, at the same time, i'm looking forward to Danzation 2008!
now that i've got more time, i need discipline, loads of it. it's back to basics, it's time to relearn what i have learnt. i have seen improvement in me through Fantazia, but it's still not enough.

alright, i shall end it here. hopefully, next post would be photos, photos and more photos. =)
and here's the video of sophan's item...



I LOVE NRA!!!

it's finally here!!

the actual performance is here!!
about 9 more hours to showtime. feeling excited yet nervous, well, it's a mixed feeling.
i just wanna go up stage and show the audience how much i sacrificed and worked hard for the past 2 months. it's just 2 items, but i really did put in effort in them.
but it's my first time performing, so...wish me luck! =D
i hope my legs dont wobble like jelly when i am on stage, or else it would be damn obvious.
focus!! that's what i need right now. confidence!! i can do it, and i know it. FAITH!! that's what everyone needs to have right now.

1 week sure passed real quickly. and there are things that i wanna blog about, but everyday come back at like 12am++, then by the time i munch onto something, it's already like 1am.
and especially yesterday and today, lessons at 8am!! so tired lah!
and YES, i skipped the first IS lesson at 8am. same reason, too tired to come out from bed.
if lessons are at 8am, i've got to wake up at 6am leh!! and now, 5-6 hours of sleep are still not enough.
well, anyway i just have to explain to my lecturer who is taking that IS module i missed about my absence and everything. hope he/she (weird chinese name) understands.

and i am so happy! finally get to wear labcoat and enter lab to do abit of labwork. denyse and i only made 500ml of media!! but still, it's a sign that we are gonna start real real soon. and i've got to really envy denyse, because she is so good in doing calculations. much much better than me. told you i am not the math type of person.
and i really do feel that having 1 supervisor is better than having 2. at least when you have 1 supervisor, you can always find him/her and your supervisor can guide you more easily.
but when you have 2 supervisors, their thoughts sometimes clash, and this makes you lost and not know what to really do.

ok, whatever. not gonna get deeper into the topic.

jiayou NRA!!

less than 1 week.

it's coming soon, really soon.
FantaZia!! next thursday & friday would be the real thing.
2 months of dance practises.
am i totally prepared? am i confident when i am up on stage?
seriously dont know.
it's gonna be my first time performing on stage in front of like alot of people.
scary lah! scared i screw up, scared that i would be so scared until my legs become jelly.
2 items, freshie & sophan's items.
although i got only like 2 items out of everything, but then i got to give my best!
it's my chance to shine in those 2 items, although i know that i wont be the shiniest.
but still, i'll do my best.
full runs have started, sunday would be at convention centre.
less than 1 week!! chiong arh!



on the other hand, i am really glad that things are getting better. =D

hype me up!!

reminders:

1) believe in myself.
2) trust that i can do it.
3) dont think too much, just do it.
4) it's gonna be draining, but worth it.
5) i cant give up, and i wont give up.
6) no time for regrets.
7) no time for complaints.
8) continue to work hard.
9) make myself useful.
10) have FAITH!!

i know i can and i will do it.
just keep holding on and dont let go, joel!

in need of a savior.

i feel like giving up already.
really want everything to just slow down,
so that i can breathe.
i am starting to regret somehow.
i should have stood firm,
i should have made my own decision.

i am losing my grip.

and i am in need of a savior.
i need someone to save me from this shit.
i need someone to enlighten me, to motivate me.
alot of people cant help me much at all.
there's only a couple who can do it, but it seems like they dont want to do it.
all i hope, is just someone to save me please...

LSCT FOC 08

past 5 days have been away from camp.
prep camp and LSCT FOC!
really brings back loads of memories.
when i was a freshie to a welfare GL and now as a SGL.
all 3 FOCs are totally different experiences for me.
life as a SGL is over. AGL already!!
makes me feel damn old can!
i've learnt some new things too through this year's FOC.
how to set up spider web game!! ok, not totally. but at least i know what to do.
kinda late to learn such things. but that's what an ex-welfare GL needs to do after FOC. and that is to learn what the games/log comm people have learnt earlier.
tied loads of bomb bags too, especially during final showdown!
madness i tell you, tie until fingers want to break already.
the last day of FOC was emo for me. really missed FOC as a freshie and a GL. really reminded me about those memorable times! how i wish i could experience it once more.
looking forward to being an AGL too!
anyway, life goes on.

and also, good job GLs!! another successful FOC! =D

after FOC and everything, felicia, nikki, huixian, serene, beesim, xl, jeremiah, kaihua and i went to have dinner!! it's been a really long time since we had such dinner together. then ordered dishes (hot plate tofu, sambal kang kong, fried ommelete), rice and also horfun! shared the food, really like family like that!! wonder when would be the next time we can have dinner like this again.

had dance today.
first was sophan's item. glad to hear from Ann saying that it was alright.
but still, i got to practise more.
then after that was bo jian dai. it was disappointing.
Ann removed the item because it wasn't up to standard.
initially i was like kinda sad, because i got 1 less item and the removal of the item also meant that i suck at dancing.
i dont blame anyone, i'm at fault too.
but now i am fine with it, with 1 less item, i can concentrate more on the rest and at the same time, spent abit more time on FYP.
i guess it's another wake up call.
FantaZia is round the corner.