Think above the line, Mind over body, The Greatest Shall Serve & the unshared LOVE!

back from dance camp yesterday!!

at first i thought that it would be a camp that would train our techniques and so on. but then, it was actually a bonding & learning camp!! and i had such a great time over the weekends. =)

there were so much things that i've learnt through this camp, and there will still be more to learn in future.

the games were really really fun, and it's the people you play together with that makes every part of the game fun. and i had to be SAILORMOON for project runway!! my group kana sailormoon, and at that moment i was like "shit! confirm me one." but must enthu so just did it. unforgetable experience. i still cant believe i did that on the first day of camp, serious.

100 secs no NG was fun. must beat the 100 secs and finish all the stations. all about teamwork and knowing your group members' strengths and using the strengths to help the group.

pocky cow was a super noisy game. cause everyone got to distract and make alot of noise. i shout until my voice cannot tahan liao. lessons learnt: trust & listen.

through the "thrashing session" on the 2nd day, alot of issues were brought out and i could feel the pain in my heart. although i didnt tear, but the pain was there and it made my eyes water a little. and on that day, i realised that many had this feeling that i also had, the feeling of being alone. now that i know, i am not alone!! =)

there was also allegra & wangqin's activity too. to learn 8 eights of choreo within 30 mins isnt easy at all. it was really hard to stay focus because of the time limit and also the distractors. at the same time, had to learn the choreo faster than normal classes, which i'm not used to it at all.

serving people & being served during dinner was really nice. the feeling is good. you appreciate the things people do for you, at the same time, people appreciate the things you do for them. it's both give & take. yup, thanks to those who served me!! =)

and there was also Ann's game. split into groups, each group de leader got to draw a card, "deaf", "blind" or "mute", then the leaders would have to teach the group 2 eights for 5 mins. my group got deaf!! and being deaf is very difficult to communicate. thanks to allegra and jaei whom taught us really really well!! being deaf is hard, you cant enjoy music like normal people can, you can only do the steps, but you cant dance to music. being blind is hard as well, you cant see yourself dancing. this game linked to the movie screening. the story of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller. a really meaningful movie!! it makes me realise how fortunate i am, to be able to see, hear and speak.

on the last day, debrief & writing feedback and also writing "thank you" notes to those whom i really want to thank. at first, i dont know what and how to write the "thank you" notes. until i received one from steffi!! thanks loads!! yup, then after that i started writing a few. and also thank you to those who wrote to me too!!

after the entire camp, i really do feel i've opened up a little. i've gotten to know more people whom i have never talked to before. i have not totally opened up, but time will tell. i believe i will. thanks everyone for everything!!!

i so hate year 3 life!!

i am super sick of school!!!
i wanna go attachment. breakaway from school life.
and i really regretted doing life science course, should have gone to business instead.
damn!! no point regretting now.

life as a year 3 in lsct = FYP + lots of modules (including IS) + many assignments & projects + no holidays

SUCKS RIGHT?! super no life at all.
if anyone who is taking their O levels this year reads this, let me say this ,"dont believe what lsct people say to you about the courses during OPEN HOUSE."
it's a ball of hell covered up with hell loads of beautiful lies.
it's just like a spider's web, attractive and deadly.

endure joel!! endure!!
ok, i shall not talk anymore about school. it bores me.

anyway, i did some handwriting self test. google it and try out.
results were not bad, some quite true, yet some not so accurate, others were in between.
but the last part seriously made me went O___O?!

"Joel has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Joel's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Joel has regarding sex and physical things. So, his lower zone stroke is large, so his sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Joel is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once."

WTH?! say until i very horny type of person please!!

but my y and g never open up until so left like what the picture showed.

SO I AM NOT HORNY LIKE WHAT THEY DESCRIBED ME!!

let my hair down.

i've got this...

"HUH? WHERE AM I? WHAT IS GOING ON? WHO ARE YOU? WHO AM I?"

脸!!

i love my unique power. and it's BLUR!!

and i've realised, it's high time to let my hair down. come to think of it, why get so stressed up? it's true that things go wrong, it's ok if things dont go your way, and it's sometimes not your fault at all. sometimes things just happen, for a reason.

master wu gui said: "there are no such things as accidents".

stress is good, in a way. no one likes stress, it sucks. but it's the same as bitter chinese medicine, it's good for us. but somehow or rather, i LOVE chinese medicine, but not ang moh ones.
yah, so must relax. sometimes things are very simple, so shouldnt think too much.

and dance makes me happy!! =)
before that i was like stressed, but after dance, i always feel happy and relaxed.

mad jack again!!

after so long of not eating Mad Jack, i'm kinda disappointed with the food there.

1) the fries were not as nice as before
2) the servings of the food were much lesser
3) the plate also smaller than before, if i am not wrong

but still, i loved the cake of the day!! ultimate chocolatey!
and not to forget, the company we had while dining there. =)
it's something that we have not done for a very very long time.

this phase.

this phase i hate the most.
i feel my world's in an abyss.
my mind's in a mess.
i wanna stay strong, i need to.
but i dont know if i can do so.

i feel so fucking fustrated!!
why am i so weak?

fresh start? OR efforts all put to waste?

wow!! it's been quite a long time since i posted the 2nd time in a day.
definitely something must have happened that made me want to do it right?
YA!! something REALLY did happen.
i really do not know how i should really feel.
because it's not only sudden, but it's also disappointing.

met my supervisor in the afternoon.
ok, first thing in your mind...i got scolded by him big time.
but he did not scold me at all.
neither did he praised me.

but he commented on the data i showed him.
and i realised that there were more things that i didnt know that i should have done. to think things were already going not-so-smooth, things went even worse.
now it's back to square 1! got to restart the experiments, from scratch. all the efforts are all down the drain, all wasted. it's disheartening.

well, at least my supervisor was really helpful to help me plan the experiments for both next week and the following. for that, i guess i should be grateful and i really appreciate his help.
super stressed actually, 3 weeks of experiments all gone to waste. and there's not much time left. although it's said that the process is more important than the results, but there's definitely a point where we got to reach so that we will have at least have something to write in our report right?
at this stage, there's nothing much to write about. and that's what worries me the most.

at least i learnt something from my supervisor today. at least i know what i am supposed to do. i really do hope that after this, everything else will fall into place nicely and that we wont have to go back and start from scratch again.
i guess it's normal. there will definitely be a stage where everything doesnt seem right at all.
but whatever it is, i will learn from it. and i will do my best to make the experiments go smoothly once more. well, no matter how disheartened i am right now, it cant be helped. i just got to make do with the amount of time left. i shall continue to hold on to my faith.

why did i save your ass today?

maybe i am just tired?

it's thursday already.
school is starting again next week, and i'm so not looking forward to next monday.
well, what have i been doing for the past 2 weeks holiday?
GO TO SCHOOL LAH!!

everyday have to go school do FYP. got to check & count cells everyday, which is super sai kang work. and now, my cells are not growing as well as before which is kinda saddening. from 10% serum to 5%, already can see a difference of the growth of the cells. what's worst, yesterday got 1 flask of cells kana contaminated!!! i hope everything goes smoothly lah, and no more contamination please!
and supervisor called me!! i dont know why, but when i see my phone ring and i see a word "unknown", i always can sense that the person is my supervisor. and it's always my supervisor!!
maybe i have...supervisophobia! O____O
wish me luck.

i dont understand how come my mum keeps thinking that my 2 weeks holidays ARE really holidays. i need to go school everyday and she keeps thinking that i will be at home when i have told her i would be going to school like EVERYDAY even though it's holidays. printer has some serious mechanical problem, and she keeps bugging me to call to troubleshoot DURING MY HOLIDAYS!! it's super irritating! cant she understand this simple sentence "i need to go school everyday, although it's my holidays."?? cant she be more understanding?

and for the past 2 days, i keep having some dizzy spells, especially when i am at home.
i lie down on my bed for just awhile to rest, and when i get up, my head feels like it's going in circles. sometimes i can even feel the dizziness when i sleep, when i turn my head and change sleeping posture. and when i wake up, the feeling still doesnt go away.
weird eh? i dont get this often last time. what happen to me?

i really do feel alone & drifted.
as i walk from 1 point to another, there's only me.
doing things, walking to places, eating, i am alone.
cant be helped i guess.
i dont want to be a burden and a nuisance to others.

to break the curse, i need strength.

i am so stuck onto this game.
Pastry Passion!!

it's those matching game, you know...like bejeweled.

and i dont know why, i am hooked onto this game.

and i am supposed to be doing projects.

i think it's really damn sickening lah!

FYP enough to kill, still got modules need to take.

holidays need do FYP, at the same time, still got the other modules got projects to do.

ARHHH!! sickening.

even IS modules also got assignments to do.

walao!! double sickening please.

anyway, got game to play is a good way to make you not think of the unhappy things.

yarh, alot of unhappy things going on.

dont want blog about it lah, dont want spoil my mood.

just got to move on and look forward to tomorrow.

anyway, happy fathers' day. =/

strength & faith.

drive to strive!!

had dance classes on tuesday and wednesday!!
tuesday was taught by JJ, and wednesday by Ann!
love the choreo for both 'elevator' & 'fallin out'.
but i had a hard time trying to catch steps, maybe i'm still not used to the speed.
do slowly, can do the steps, but once play the song, cant really do it properly.
felt like super demoralised because cannot catch steps and do until very sucky. the feeling is like you want to take a knife and slit your throat and let yourself bleed until dry.
then after class on wednesday, watched the video that was taken down during class.
then i felt that actually in the video, i looked ok. but then, when i was dancing, i didnt feel ok at all. it's like i feel that i not only cannot catch the steps, but then do also not nice at all.
WHY LIKE THAT ARH??
i also dont know...

and now i understand.
it's not that i am not good, it's not that i never improve.
i am just not ready for the next level.
it's better for me to stay at a level that is suitable for me.
i finally understand.
and now, there's even a greater drive to strive!! =)
"Its all about hard work. Talent is 10 percent, hard work is 90 percent. A person who goes crazy working on dance whenever he/she goes would definitely be better than one who has talent but doesn’t practice at all. What I can say is practice, practice, practice." - Patrick Loo (quoted from singaporegotdance.blogspot.com)

and i've got big calcium craving!!
milk & aches are good for you. =)

sweet lovely wedding!!

congratulations to allan & lynn!!
my cousin who is the groom got married yesterday ( 9 June).
and i attended their wedding dinner at Goodwood Park Hotel!!
love the place lah, damn nice please!
food was not bad, fish was fresh. their deepfried prawns with salad sauce was nice!! but i only liked the prawn and not the sauce. i'm not a sauce-y person, lol!
and i love the doorgifts!!! and is not a standard doorgift when everyone will get the SAME thing.
got 2 different types of gifts: 1 nicely decorated bottle of honey, 1 super chio small metal spoon for stirring your coffee. and the gifts are given out alternately!

weddings are such nice occasions!!
both the groom & bribe damn sweet please.
their photoshoot was also very nicely done. their photos were all like damn professional.
wish the both of them all the best!!

some photos i took using my handphone:

love the ambience!!

i got so attracted to the table!!

everything's so nicely in place, plus the rose petals. CHIO!!

their silverware is actually very very shiny.

love the way the bowls are arranged!!

The Big Groove: raising the standard!

The Big Groove 2008!!
one word, DOPE!

jaw dropped, pee-ed & shitted in my pants at the same time, eyes got foam come out!!
the whole performance was like WOW!!
NRA did a really great great great job, totally loved the performance!!
WCO!! no need to say lah, they never fail to make me pee & shit non stop. not only got foam come out from eyes, even the nose also got.
then got B.S brothers also. yes!! the 2 japanese boys!! they are damn dope at their age. their locking is good lah, plus they make you go "awww!! so cute & DOPE!!!"
wahh, to think they started learning how to dance at the age of 3!! and i think i was still trying to learn my ABCs at that age.
it sure does take years to be a great dancer.
i must be ashamed to even call myself a dancer. yes, even for 1 minute/30 secs/10 secs/1 sec!!

it's demoralising & motivating.
it's time to step up in dance!! it's time to work hard, to do my best!
i will remember 2 months. i wanna see myself improve alot alot alot.
it's time to raise my standard! UP, UP, UP, UP!!

oh ya, met 3 sluts during the performance interval.
they took serene's, beesim's and my seats!!
still can answer us in slutty tone.
walau! come late for show still come take our seats, still come talk to us in slutty tone.
they should die a tragic slutty death.
thanks lye huat for helping us and allowing us to sit with the rest of the AAGLs!! =)
and ya, curse the 3 sluts. =D

in 2 months time.

common tests are over!!

nothing to celebrate about lah, just relieved that it is over.

the only thing i know is that i wont do well. =(

whatever! it's over already. no point thinking about it, it's just common tests.

anyway, it's HOLIDAYS!! yea, although everyday still need to come back to school do experiments, at least can take a short break from all the module shit.

experiments for FYP, so far so good!! lucky no contamination, if not have to start all over again, from 1 vial. wouldnt want that to happen. now already scale up the cells to T75 flasks!! just hope the cells continue to grow well. although time is running out, but at least things are going smoothly. with that, i am kinda contented. hope the adaptation of cells to 0% serum would end in 2 months, then can continue to the next phase.

can you believe it?

i sold my gameboy advance for just $18!!

yea, to cash converters. made a freaking BIG loss please, the person even wanted to offer $12.

but then, no choice lah. that is the nature of their business. buy from you low low price, sell at higher prices. that's where they make their profit.

and i dont play my gameboy advance already. it had been lying on my shelf for like 'dont-know-how-long' already. might as well just get rid of it.

so you must be thinking, 'why you need money, until sell your gameboy advance for $18?'

here's your answer!! FOR THIS...

yea, ipod nano!!

i've been saving money for this, because i'm not working and i feel bad asking my mum to buy me one. so the only way is to save up loh!

and why i want to buy it?:

1) it looks like a biscuit to me.

2) i need music in a portable device, and a handphone i feel, it's not the best device for music.

3) i hate to push too many buttons, especially when you are trying to scroll and search for your favourite music to listen to.

4) travelling kinda sucks without music to entertain you.

5) experiments do get kinda boring at times.

ok, i cant give 10 good reasons. but i guess 5 is a good number. make that 4 lah, since the first one is kinda nonsense.

and my saving $$$ plan is really going very well. i should be able to buy it within 2 months?

i just got to keep up the momentum.

yea, and my saving $$$ plan isnt gonna stop even after i've bought an ipod nano. it's gonna continue but not as hardcore like now lah.

the stagnant phase

i dont like it at all...

i shall give myself 2 months.

hardwork.determination.focus.time.faith.

i am so sick & tired from studying. once again, screw common tests!
whole day study proteo can seriously JUST DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, HOOOOO!!!


love this photo to the max!!
my dog ulti-cute right?! i think oscar cuter than serene's baby. =)
haha! i am blogging responsibly.
*serene's baby look like pig.
*my oscar look like dog.
*serene's baby is gay!!
*my oscar loves to hump female golden retrievers last time. but now is tai jian!!

I LOVE MY OSCAR!! although it has no balls...