i'm young.

i don't know how i should feel.
to feel happy or sad.
that's the question.

people think i am young...
they thought that i am a year 1 student.
and they say i look like a year 1 student.
but i am year 2 already!

yes, i should feel happy that i am young.
but when people think that you are young, don't you feel kinda sad or something.
it's like...you are not your age.
something like that.

ok. nevermind if you don't understand what i am trying to say.

exams+revision+busy weeks

exams are drawing near...really near.
next week is gonna be really busy.
from tests to MOBIO presentation.
a few more tutorials to complete for biostats.
it's gonna be tiring,
but worth it guess.

but it's not just for 1 week.
it's about 3 weeks or so.
because after all the tests and such, there's still the FINAL exams!!!
4 modules to tackle.
it's time to start, before it's too late.

and no dance lessons for an entire month!!!
SIAN!

ulcers!

2 days ago, i visited the dentist for my monthly appointment to tighten my braces.
this time round, the dentist took out the springs which he fixed onto my braces for 1 month.
and he added something called...powerchain i think.
not to forget, he tightened my braces like so happily.
and i was suffering like hell, screaming deep inside.

"AHHhhHHHhhHHhhhhHHHhhh!!! sooooo TIGHT!!!"

the brackets are like rubbing against my gums.
there is this tiny pointy portion of the wire that is scrapping my gums off.
basically, they are like rubbing against my cheek cells.
and now, i have 3 freaking big ulcers!!!
imagine the pain i am going through now...
i can't eat properly. i can't talk properly. i can't laugh properly.
because of the pain...

oh well, i guess i got to depend on dental wax and cover the areas which has caused me to have ulcers for the time being.

JoeL has to endureeeeeeeeeee......................................................................

RAH!

i hate my face condition now.
pimples are starting to pop out.
like suddenly, so many spotted.
stupid pimples get me so irritated whenever i see them.
i hate it! i hate it! i hate it!
i hope they go away real soon.

anyway, i finally started on my biostats tutorials.
yes, finally! after sooooo long...
i tried being ambitious and planned to finish tutorials 6-10 by monday.
and i finished both tutorials 6 and 7 already!
and i'm halfway to completing tutorial 8!
kind of pleased wtih myself.
hope i'd be able to reach my target by monday.

oh ya. i seriously got to thank vanessa for helping me bring my biostats textbooks+pencil case+foolscap paper from LSCT all the way to studio 16.
rushed off for dance on friday without realising that i forgot about my biostats stuff.
and by the time i reached studio 16...i realised that i left them at LSCT.
lucky vanessa was at studio 73.
if not i would be so dead man.
either i run all the way to get my stuffs and be late for dance or nadjmi/alvin have to bring my stuffs back home with them and i wouldn't be able to do my tutorials.
how careless i really am.

tiring days.

the week's been pretty tiring i guess.
had my instrumentation presentation on monday.
a pretty last minute project work.
i managed to start researching my topic which was on chiral separations last friday, which i was supposed to start doing like weeks ago.
and i had to miss Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix on sunday.
and that ticket costed me $5!!!
why so cheap?!
the ticket was actually some kind of invitation to some stupid 17th Biennial meeting crap cum movie screening of Harry Potter organised by Kim Seng CC Youth Group.
i was supposed to go with huixian, serene and suhua.
but i would rather waste $5 than to waste all my marks for not doing project.
the presentation went pretty alright. glad that it was over.
say bye bye to $5...

and i had biostats CCT yesterday.
and i passed!!!
51%. ok, it's not a very good pass, just borderline.
but i was so scared that i would fail the CCT. because if i really did fail, i think i can retake biostats next semester.
i am still not very satisfied with my marks though. because overall, i still fail.
reason being, i failed both my common test and retest badly.
oh, i scored 36/100 for my retest! which was just 1 mark more than my common test marks.
how super pathetic man.
arh, whatever lahhh. just got to continue to buck up and pass my biostats practical and final exams.
was supposed to have MOBIO presentation yesterday too. dr choy's such a nice person. he allowed my group to present during the next tutorial class, which is like 2 weeks later.
got more time to finish up the slides.

don't know why, i've been feeling kinda tired these few days, not to forget, kinda sian.
maybe it's school that is causing me to be like this.
alright, i need my sleep.

community service.

when was the last time you spend your saturday to do community service?

the last time i actually did so was like ages ago.

this time round, a few of us helped felicia and wenxin for their I&E.

paint house!

the unit that we painted was really rundown. the paint on the walls were wearing out. really old furniture. loads of cobwebs and spiders. cockroach eggs too. not to forget BED BUGS!

the aunty's life is really basic. no tv, no fridge, no kettle found, no washing machine. just a cupboard, drawer, a fan, bed and chairs. and she had a few bottles of F&N Orange and coke that had all gone mouldy. she still wanted to drink the orange together with her medicine. but of course she was made to drink water in the end. very poor thing, kinda feel for her.

but then i think the aunty very dope. she actually sat outside the unit and waited for us to finish the painting and stuff. and she didn't complain at all.

if it was my granny that was outside the unit, she would be so bored, she would started blabbering nonsense.

painting the place was tiring but fun! so much jokes, laughters, paint on us.

what an experience man. although i was feeling all itchy, sticky and dirty after everything, but i brought something home with me.

and that is to appreciate your life, to feel fortunate enough to live in luxury.

i shall now let the pictures do the talking.

special thanks to wei san and hui nee for bringin their cameras.

before.

after.

teppanyaki warrior!

=D

sexy painters at work!

i was so not slacking!

donald and alvin looked damn professional.

cheers to all the hard work!!!

helpessly.

sometimes, it justs sucks having to see your friend so down.
because you'll feel down as well too.
you want to try to help and console your friend.
but you can't.
you don't know what to say or do to make your friend feel better.
all you can do is listen.

so much disappointments these few days.
things didn't turn out exactly well.
and i'm caught in the middle.
not knowing how to react.
i'm just like a statue, standing still at the same spot.

sometimes i wonder to myself.
am i capable?
truth is, i really don't think i am.
looking back to the past, i've been the helpless kid most of the time.
just like a kid, nothing bothers me much.
all i am good at is being ignorant.

power.
a double edged sword.
power can lead you to greater heights.
but then again, it can corrupt you.
use it for the right motive and you gain respect.
use it for your own good and people will hate you.
i hope i don't see such things.
i don't want to see people get hurt.

everyone makes mistakes.

seriously, some people really got to open both their eyes and ears.
open their eyes so that they can see and observe things better.
open their ears to listen to explainations and such.
it just sucks having to repeat and explain some things to people and in the end, they still don't get it and have doubts in what you say.
everyone makes mistakes.
you can't just rely totally on what someone says or writes on a piece of paper.
it may be wrong.
even teachers/doctors/professors/TSOs make mistakes.
mistakes that they, themselves don't realise.
that's called carelessness.

sometimes it is just so irritating to have people doubt what you say.
it's annoying to keep hearing the word "but" from them.
because it shows that they don't agree with you.
and the more you explain, the more fustrated you get.
and people will think that you are angry.

i know what i was doing yesterday.
i am not being petty or whatsoever.
i am not trying to find fault or pick a fight and quarrel with anyone.
i hate to do that.
i was just trying to explain what's wrong, that's all.
but for a few people who refuse to listen and continue to have doubts in what i said.
would i not feel fustrated?

competition.

life's like a battle.
competition...it's either you rise or you fall.
the battle never ends until you have fallen.
defeating the enemy, surpassing those who are better than you is the only way to survive.
competition is everywhere.
pressure. sometimes the people around you and the environment you're in are just so competitive that you feel the weight on you.

but such competition and pressure keeps you alive.
it gives you the drive, the energy, the determination to surpass, to defeat and to conquer.
it's all because you don't want to see yourself fall, to lose everything, to see yourself just stay at one point and not improve.
it makes you stronger.

everyone starts small.
to grow big, the process is long, tedious and energy draining.
it's never easy.
but one has to work hard no matter what.

standard.
i'm not there yet.
i'm not ready for big things yet.
i'm not being negative.
i'm just being realistic.
i'm still small.
but i know that i would be ready one day.
before the day comes, it's all about myself, hard work and determination.

happy birthday mum!

Happy Birthday Mum!!!
you're finally **!!! (shan't reveal your age.)
it's not nice revealing a woman's age.
and what did i give my mum for her birthday?


a birthday card...


yes! i know...cheapo me.
my sister got her some nice smelling thing which definitely costs more than a card.
but it's the thought that counts.
and i picked a card that is really meaningful.

"Birthdays can make some people feel MISERABLE, but not you. Getting OLD has never really bothered you. Infact you seem to GET younger every year!"

haha. hope she likes it!!! she has to like it lahhh....how can she not? it's such a meaningful present from me, although it's pretty cheapo.

ipod & Transformers again.

watched Transformers AGAIN!!!
with steph, donald, alvin and nadjmi.
the very first movie i watched twice!
well, i did say that i didn't mind watching it again because it is such a nice movie.
and after watching it the 2nd time, i'm still "WOWed" by all the action and stuff!
but no 3rd time please. i don't want to get sick of the movie.
too much of a good thing is not good.

and i want to get an ipod!
it kinda sucks having to travel long distances in the train/bus...with ah bengs blasting their techno music so loudly, seeing weird people singing horribly to the song that they're listening to, hearing noisy children scream/cry damn loudly, hearing old uncles/aunties talking to one another damn loudly.
plugging the earphones and listening to your favourite songs would be so much better, right?
got to start saving money, restrict myself from spending too much.
but i may talk to mum about it...see if she is willing to get me one, which i don't think she will be that willing to.
who knows?

Transformers!!

Transformers is such a DOPE movie man!!!
i loved every single bit of the action in the movie.
from all the driftings, to the fighting scenes, to the missles and explosions, the graphics and the sound effect.
and i think Sam is so lucky to have Bumblebee as his very first car, although it looked like a piece of crap car at first.
BUT IT CHANGED INTO A FREAKING CHEVROLET CAMARO!!!
and imagine Optimus Prime...in his big truck form, DRIFTING!!! OMGGG!!!
i would give it a 10/5 for the movie.
the movie is sooooo nice, i don't mind watching it again!

retests & GL interview.

i am sooooo very happy right now!
because, i passed my biochem retest!!!
i was quite scared that i would fail the 2nd time. phew.
if i failed again, i would need to take a RE-retest.

but then, i am so gonna fail biostats retest.
shit! i seriously didn't know what was wrong with me when i was doing the paper.
all my answers just didn't seem right at all.
well, it's over so i shan't talk about it anymore.
just got to work much much harder...and hand up my unfinished tutorials.

anyway, this week's GL interview.
finally, the new batch of GL wannabes.
not to forget, GLs are gonna officially be called as SGLs.
i managed to sit through the interview for awhile today...to enjoy air-con and play neopets, while trying to give that serious face.
some of the freshies were like so cute when they talk, some were confident, some were nervous.
and there was this one freshie...that i was so damn disappointed with. i think steph should be too.
he made a fool out of himself during the interview, thinking that he is so good that the next FOC would fail without him.
the way he talked seriously disgusted me.
seriously. what makes you think that it's our loss without you?
but why am i so disappointed with this freshie?
let me tell ya why...

because steph and i were his welfare GLs!!

the both of us should be damn disappointed la!
imagine, your own freshie came for the interview and made a fool out of himself right in front of your very eyes. and the way he talked....
i felt like taking my shoe and throw at his face at that moment!

all the best of luck to him.