no energy.

GL training resumed today...yea, the last day of February.
kind of disappointed with my performance during the campus run.
no GL training for like 1 month plus because of exams...snacksnacksnack and no runrunrun.
CNY...eateateat.
confirm will feel fat.
stamina not good, legs felt so heavy, not much energy to cheer. felt uber tired after the run.
really need to train...must make sure i can keep up with the pace of the AGLs.
BURN those fats!
but for now...i need rest. loads of it.

scars that make one stronger.

imagine you had this precious vase.
and you were very careless when handling it.
the first time you dropped it on the floor, a small visible hair-line crack could be seen.
the second time you dropped it, the crack grew and it was more visible.
the third time it hit the floor, the vase started having more cracks.
and the fourth time it slipped off from your hands and fell to the floor,
the whole vase shattered into pieces.
each time the vase hits the floor, it becomes weaker and weaker.

you decided to not throw the broken pieces away, as it was precious.
throwing it away would mean giving up on it.
you decided to put the pieces back together, like a puzzle.
the process was hard, lots of time was taken up just to put the pieces together.
you suffered, yet you continue to hold on.
finally, you finished the job.
but the vase was different from before.
it got back its shape, but...the cracks could still be seen.
the vase looked more fragile then before.
one small knock on it could just make the whole thing fall into pieces again.

but now when you look at the vase,
you are reminded of your mistake; your carelessness.
the vase seems more precious than before, because you don't want it to break anymore.
the cracks will stay forever. they are like scars.
but they relay a message to you and only you yourself understand it.
you tell yourself this, "i will grow stronger."


*what i have been pondering about throughout the night*

fatfatfat.

i feel FAT!

time for some workout.

sudden thoughts.

couple of FACTS i've learnt during my lil' holidayyy at sentosa with my relatives:
1) Adults are HARD to please.
yes, indeed so true. why do i say so? because they are always full of complaints and they comment on almost every single thing. bring them to a western restaurant and they complain that the food is expensive and not to their liking. bring them to a chinese restaurant, and they say...the food is not good enough or the standard has dropped.

2) Yellowstone Park in America is a SUPER Volcano.
watched Discovery Channel late at night...and the show was about volcanoes. and throughout my years of studying Geography in secondary school, i never knew that Yellowstone Park is actually a super volcano. wow! the power of Discovery Channel. boo to my Geography teacher...or maybe it is because i never pay attention during her class, maybe she did say it before. who knows?

alright. enough of the facts and such.
just a few hours, some thoughts just popped out from nowhere and made me think and ponder about these things.
i keep asking myself this question, "am i happy?"
but i don't know how to answer it. what things can i really use to define the true meaning of the word "happiness".
i keep asking this question too, "what do i want to achieve in life?"
and again...i've got no answer.
i've been thinking about my attitude towards whatever i do. and i don't think i've been very serious...especially my studies. yes i know this is not the time to even think about studies and such...but it is true...i've been slacking my guts out. i slacked through year 1...but maybe i should change when i hit year 2...be more serious in my work, and at least make my grades in future abit more colorful?
and here's another one, "what do i want to be when i grow up?"...i guess many have already thought of what they want to be in future. but not me. i've got no idea at all. i keep telling myself that i'll let life take me to where i would be. i look at the present and not the future.
maybe i really do need to think about my future...
i am trying to find myself...i've still got more to learn about myself. for now, i do not know how to answer any of those questions that came through my mind. but all i can say is that...i've got to keep searching for the answers until i find them.

1 week.

the week has past so quickly. my dad came back from cambodia last week.
and today, he needed to go back again.
wishing him all the best.

collected quite a sum of money during CNY. it is time i plan on how to use the money...how much i am going to spend, what am i going to spend on and how much am i going to save.
hmm, i got this gut feeling that i am going to spend every single cent in the end of the day...because the items that i have in mind are expensive. -__-
rawr. i have to slowly think.

but anyway...i am going to sentosa with my relatives(mum's side) later...holidayyy!!! ok not really holiday la (though it is now holidays for me.)...it is just sentosa. going to stay there for the night...will be back tomorrow. haha.
byebye.

Norbit vs Epic.

watched "Norbit" with my sister yesterday.
the movie is much more worth watching and paying for than "Epic Movie".
and i paid only $6.50 for "Norbit" and $1 more for "Epic Movie". haha.
well, the movie was not as funny as when i watched the commercial on tv. wonder why?

*don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me...don't cha.* (not me not me...i am no girlfriend.) =X

my ratings for the movie: 3.5/5
now let me tell you why it is 1.0 more than "Epic Movie" :
1) the storyline is not bad, 10 times better than "Epic Movie" in fact. so, plus 0.5.
2) the other 0.5 is awarded due to the fact that Eddie Murphy is such a good actor. He played 3 characters in the show...Norbit, Rasthupia (if that is how you spell the FAT lipo-ass woman's name.) and finally the voice of Mr Wong (a chinese???!!!). wow, amazing.

so to all who haven't watched the movie and still considering whether to watch "Norbit" or "Epic Movie", please save your money and do the right thing. haha.

Chinese New Year 2007.

it's been quite some time since i last updated. so here is an update...as promised. and i guess this update would be a super duper uber looonnnggg update. an essay you can count. haha. so here goes.
Year of the Pig = Pork = Delicious = Happy.
and it is the time again when we get red packets from the adults. and at the same time, enjoy eating loads and loads of goodies.
Red packets = $$$ = richrichrich = happyhappyhappy.
alright...enough of my weird analogies already. haha. let's get on with it.

CNY Eve
Just about 4 hours to countdown, we had a steamboat for dinner. just for my family. haha. I love steamboat…haha. and I love enoki mushroom. everyone was like eating abit abit only, then full le. but I still continue to eat and drink the soup until my stomach bloated until 9pm like that. so long never eat until so damn full. the steamboat dinner was much better than the reunion dinner I had on Friday. because when I drink the soup, I can feel my mother’s hard work and love inside. LOL. or maybe is because we put all the ingredients inside the soup until taste very nice. haha. but still, I LOVE MY MUM’S COOKING!!! so…countdown le. collect ang bao from parents. stay awake for a while, then sleep.

Day 1
here is a picture of what I wore : basically a purple shirt plus my "quite new" long pants.
and we headed down to my grandmother's place.
and my blood really boiled like hell. Yes, it is about my damn relatives again. Why must they think so highly of themselves when they are not? if they are some big shot millionaires or celebrity, then I got nothing much to say…but they are classified as middle class people. no big a deal at all.
My eldest cousin…thinks so highly of himself. talking and showing off about what he is currently doing. and listening to the way he speaks now, he can be a potential gay. or maybe he is one already. Who knows?
My next cousin who is just 1 year older than me, is getting really rude and beng. What’s with the dragon tail on the back of your hair? and what’s with the rude attitude you gave to my mum? what a bitch.
And my youngest cousin? forever as spoilt and snobbish as ever. seeing the way he behaves, I really feel like walloping him. and I think he can be the next potential gay, because he talks like a drag queen!!!
And to my aunts…I seriously don’t need your advice on how to get a girlfriend. I don’t need you all to tell me how to socialize. I do not see a point in socializing with you people and I feel that your advice on how to get a girlfriend is just dumb because it would make me feel and look like a despo. I know you people just want to show off to me that my cousin who is the same age as me has a girlfriend. I don’t give a damn about whether he is attached or not.
And to my uncles, both of you can just go and die. Yes, I shouldn’t be saying the word “Die” during this festive season. but I’ve got no choice. this is because both of you just know how to brag about your sons and think highly of them. but to tell you the truth, you guys have brought them up into such rotten bastards.
and please to the whole of the “See” family except my dear grandmother…I don’t think drinking beer is cool at all. I’ve got better taste buds than all of you people put together.
alright, I shall now just stop with all the complaints and stuff.
Here’s some good news:
And I am rich, yea! ok, not really. I shall end the part about Day 1 here. put the unhappy things awayyy!

Day 2
Day 2's outfit is roughly the same...just the shirt that is different. white with green stripes.

The second day was more fun I guess. basically, my family, together with my relatives went home visiting. so we all met at my granny’s place and about 2pm, we set off. first was my house…and my stupid dear Oscar went to bite my aunt’s maid. what a bad dog. but also cannot blame him la, because my aunt’s maid could have made a slightest sudden movement and frightened him. and she went to sayang him without knowing that he doesn’t like strangers to do that.
after my house, was my third uncle’s house. there nothing to blog about.
headed down to my oldest uncle’s place next which is at Bukit Gombak. had lunch there, the food was really good. I had my second serving…ahaha.
finally, went back to my granny’s place and a few of us gambled, just to accompany my granny…if not later she make noise. haha …this year my luck okok only la, win lose lose win.
so, at bout 8pm, we had our dinner. dinner was not bad at all. And after dinner, had to gamble again, just to accompany my granny. make me gamble until very tired.
Then at 1am, which is already Tuesday, we headed home.
So that’s Day 2 for me.

Day 3
My mum's eldest sister (my aunt.) invited my family over for dinner...including my relatives from my mum's side. i dressed really casually...so no photos. haha.
snacked alot in my aunt's house. from bah kua to chocolates to egg rolls and to koropok(spare me if i spelt it wrongly).
my cousins wanted to gamble again...accompany my granny and also to entertain my third aunt aka gambling queen aka short, fat and stubby old snake. haha. but i was very very tired...so i decided to take a nap instead.
soon, dinner was served. and the dinner was nice! my stomach became bloated. haha.
so after dinner just sat and watched tv until about 11pm then headed home.
so that's about the third day i guess.

3 days of CNY is draining. haha. but...i got to keep most of the red packets i received...except for a few which had loads of money inside. those money was donated to my mother for safe-keeping.
awww...and it is so sad. parents have to work and little kids have to go back to school...saddening. haha. and while they are busy with their work and such...i will be slacking at home...since it is the HOLIDAYS already. haha. alright i shall end it here before this post gets too long.

End

long fly-day.

i woke up and found out that it is saturday. and i forgot to blog about yesterday...during the night.
so...i shall start blogging about yesterday. it is going to be abit looonnggg...so you can say that my yesterday was a pretty eventful day.
here goes,
only a few hours before my last and final paper...at about 3am in the morning. i still couldn't sleep...so i decided to study abit...while drinking my cup of '3-packets' coffee. the coffee didn't work at all...but i was pressing on. in the end, i went to bed at 5am...and woke up at 6am. only 1 hour of sleep!!!
microbio paper was alright...thought it would be difficult. and hooray! exams are over! no more studying!
went to watch movie with steph, nadjmi, donald, xl, alvin and charmaine...and many more who joined us later. watched "Epic Movie"...omg.
and my ratings : 2.5/5 (and i was being lenient.)
the movie was just a waste of money...the plot is lame and made no sense at all. but the movie was just for the laughs and giggles. i think the movie is just senselessly funny...haha.
so after the movie, i had to rush back home to wash up and head to my grandmother's house for reunion dinner with my dad. and during the journey back home, my dad called me and he told me to go to my grandmother's house myself. rawr! freaking pang-seh-er!
ok...so nevermind. what's worst is that he told me the wrong venue la...made me have to spend so much money on the taxi fare. he told me Ang Mo Kio Avenue 1 at first...but then...in the end, he told me is Serangoon North Avenue 1...wth!!!
reunion dinner this year was a flop...usually will have steamboat but this year...buffet. and the buffet is not those kind of buffet that will come across your mind when you hear it. but still, have to eat. so after my meal, i just sat and watch tv while most of my relatives were in this room watching some videos in youtube.
and i am pissed! why? cause of my stupid relatives! my uncle say until like i totally don't know how to get to my grandmother's house. and i want to say this...I KNOW HOW TO GET THERE BY MRT AND BUS!!! but not taxi...cause my FATHER GAVE ME THE WRONG VENUE!!! bastard.
and they keep asking me this and that. so stupid can.
they think that drinking beer is cool and manly...but it is totally not...because beer sucks!
and this time, they really made my blood boil. they offered me beer and i rejected it and they say until i am like a freaking sissy. FUCK IT!!!
and they made my blood boil even more...when they keep asking this question :"you got girlfriend or not?" and of course being single, i have to say no. and they FUCKING HELL SAY UNTIL LIKE I AM FUCKING ANTI-SOCIAL WHICH I AM TOTALLY NOT!!!
and there is still more, they made themselves look like assholes when they say "See Girls must go Grab." wtf...this statement has made me despise them even more. and i don't want to be like their other nephews because they have taught them to be such flirts. they think that finding a girlfriend is just like plucking apples from an apple tree. to me, i think the process of getting a girlfriend should be more natural...and not go round finding one desperately.
it is a good thing my dad saved me from all those assholes at 945pm...and we headed home.
seriously, i don't know how to see my relatives tomorrow. now that i know that they are such assholes who think that they are goddamn smart. but they are obviously not. year by year, they made me despise them more. and about me being anti-social which is totally not true...all i have to say is that i don't see the point in socializing with them at all which also means...i don't want to socialize with them. i'd rather be with friends who are there for me. =))
alright...so enough about them already. so today is CNY eve. and i will be spending mos tof my time at home...haha...have to spring clean my room because it is very messy.
i'll not be blogging until 21/2 due to the fact that i want to blog about CNY in one whole post. so till then, happy CNY!!! ahahaha...red packets and bah kua...here i come!

final burst.

today's physio paper was......pretty easy.
but i kind of underestimated the standard of the paper...thus leading to some careless mistakes. eddie ong's english is good la and this is proven through the paper itself. though he simplified the english until very simplified, hahaha...still can read wrongly and such.
so now physio is down...left 1 more, microbio. i think i am going to screw tomorrow's paper, cause nothing seems to be going inside my brain...and there is like nothing much to study, although it is 10 chapters...but still...like nothing much. this gets me worried la.
how will tomorrow's paper be??? i've got no idea at all...just hope that everything goes on fine tomorrow.
andandand...my father just got back from cambodia!!! hahaha...long time never see him. and he told me some bad news...tomorrow got reunion dinner at my grandmother's (his mother.) house. i feel so sian. not like i hate my grandmother...in fact...got nothing to do with my grandmother (i love both my grandmothers!)...more of my relatives and cousins that i have to face. yes, i hate them...i despise them. they are all freaking proud bastards and bitches who think that they are damn smart...especially my uncle...just because he got an A level cert. zzz...only an A level cert. without a degree. their smart-ass attitude seriously turns me off. and with my youngest cousin who is damn spoilt...gosh, i've got no idea how i am going to survive tomorrow night.
i hope someone saves me. ahhhhhh!
anyway, after tomorrow's microbio paper...would be the start of the 2 months HOLIDAYS! i can't wait till 11am tomorrow. hahaha. and my room needs spring cleaning...cause it is uber messy.
alright...i shall end it here.

I-Pee-C!!!

woke up at about 9am with a nice cup of coffee and an egg tart. headed down to LSCT emart and arrived there at about 11am.
gosh, this is getting draggy already.
so...all i got to say is that...IPeeC paper was alright?...nah...can't say it is alright, in fact, i am gonna fail the paper...that's for sure. screwed up here and there...got headache half way during the exam. luckily i got a B for my CA grades, if not...the worst is yet to come.
so after the whole paper...went to eat xiao long bao again with serene, ah giam, lijun and huixian. haha...the juice of the xiao long bao is just so nice. headed home after treating my stomach with nice food.
oh well, so there goes 2 papers...and 2 more left. come on quick! i can't wait for all these exams and studying to end. got to hang on.
so...while couples are enjoying themselves...i am here...studying. haha. ok not really. but anyway...happy Valentine's day.

fuck math.

fuck math a thousand times!!!
crap! why must wong yet ling set such a tough paper this time? doing some comparison with last year's august paper, i found the august paper was much easier than the damn paper i took today.
there was this question which i forgot how to do. and the last question just didn't make any sense. and for the rest of the questions, i don't even know whether i got them right.
i seriously don't have this chromosome in me that proves that i am a math type of person.
every drop of brain juice is a number written on the exam paper.
i am seriously not sure whether i can pass this module. though i have done some calculations and have concluded that i do need to at least get 40/100 to pass the entire module, i am still not sure whether i can pass. what if i get 30/100 instead?
argh...heck it!
i have done my best for the paper, i've done all i could for the paper, wrote whatever i could write on the paper, squeezed as much brain juice as possible.
so i shall not let the math paper affect me. i still have 3 more papers to handle.
for now i should just work harder for the rest of the papers and hope for the best.
"if it is mine, it is mine...if it isn't, then it isn't."
i think this sentence really makes sense...it applies to whatever you do.
and i feel that this sentence also applies to all those small kids today who have gotten their O Level results. so to all those who have done well, good for you. to all those who didn't do that well, hmm...well...don't brood over it too long.
oh well...off to the screen of the TV!!! haha.

just 1 more.

math final paper is just in a day's time. finally...
i don't know why but i kind of want the day to arrive as soon as possible.
not like i suddenly like math...but i just want it to end already. i want the holidays to start really badly.
i am not sure how the paper will turn out, but all i can tell myself is this: "get it over and done with. if the marks are yours, they are yours. if they aren't, then too bad."
i feel that i am sort of ready for the dreadful paper filled with numbers. i feel like i know the concept and such...but just can't really solve the questions. not all...but a couple of them. make that three instead?
oh well, hope the math paper is alright for me to handle.
after math paper...comes three more ass papers to overcome before the holidays start...arhhh! i need the holidays badly.
alright, shall end it here and sleep.
bye.

correction.

ok...about yesterday's statement of "good things come and go really quickly", i'll like to make a correction.
it is really saddening to see youtube ban and remove the episodes.
but it is not so bad actually...
*because i managed to download the episodes*
so in conclusion...good things come and go...but still come back again.
alright, time for math.

no more.

good things come and go.
this statement is super duper uber true.
one moment it is there and the next...missing, gone, disappeared, removed, eliminated.
so saddening. because...
THERE IS NO MORE SOUTHPARK EPISODES IN YOUTUBE ANYMORE!!! THEY HAVE ALL BEEN REMOVED AND BANNED...ARHHHHHH!!!
i want to hit my head on the wall.
to think that southpark was just becoming my tool to help me relieve stress because of the exams, and now...GONE.
and i watched southpark episodes just a few days ago.
good things not only come and go...they come and go really really fast, in such a short time.
on a bright sunday morning, the episodes were still there...and in the afternoon...all removed.
good thing i managed to watch 2 episodes before this tragic thing happened.
oh well, that is life...unexpecting.
maybe i'll just have to download the episodes that i haven't seen from some "god-who-knows" websites.
this totally sucks. damn!

southpark!!!

southpark is good for you.
it can help you de-stress.
why?
because exams make you become stupid(brain cells are killed.).
because exams make you grow fat(you tend to snack while studying.).
because exams make you ugly(pimples start to pop out like nobody's business.).
exams, exams, exams...
they make you foam.(the stress-factor.)
they make you tired.(the long hours of studying.)
they make you sick.(immune system starts to break down because of the long hours of studying.)
so people, if you are encountering any of these above symptoms, please go watch southpark to de-stress. don't bother to see the doctor.
let me tell you why seeing a doctor doesn't help.
it makes you more stress because you need to spend money just to see the doctor.
it makes you drowsy because of the medicine you put into your mouth.
it makes you sleep more. more time is wasted.
and you get more stress because there wouldn't be time for you to study.
really...you need southpark as a stress reliever.
it helps.

i am free!

yay!!! i finally completed my stupid MOL...woohoo.
i feel like a bird...that flew out of the cage. able to flap its wings and fly fly fly.
ok...whatever.
but i feel more relaxed right now. haha.
cause there is no more MOL to do...and complete. no more stars to collect. less stress.
see la, cause of MOL...i had to miss watermelon outing...they all go eat sushi. oh well...at least now i don't have to bother bout it.
but still...math final exam is coming really soon.
zzz...it is not over yet.